Mom!

Oh Mom! Mom! Mom! Three years ago today was your last full day on this our earth!  You told me that when your father knew that his time was coming  he had said to you “Oh Jane, I don’t want to leave this beautiful world”. You inherited his passion for life here, for beauty, for nature, for literature, for humanity and for humor.  You embodied this at the heart and soul of our family.

As a tiny seed I was brilliant to choose you as my mother. You were a giant force, hard-headed and demanding and not easy to be at peace with. Your frustrations as a huge-brained woman in the time in history that you were born, were mighty and until you were stroked and lost access to your phenomenal vocabulary and right side control, you did not slow down. Then you did. Amongst tears and angst,  and you and I embarked on our eight year chapter of beginning and ending every day with an hour long phone conversation. How can one ever doubt God’s wisdom? Our wisdom? You and I grew into best friends. Transparency, truth, intimacy and we healed all misconceptions and opened to pure love. I love you beyond time and space and earth and now. I miss your voice and laughter and your cool hands and your intense concerns and your girlie expressions and  the voids where I can hear you think and silently react. I feel you with me, especially when I blade by the sea and look up and out at the sunset and though I feel you I miss you. I wonder when we shall see each other again and I ask you now, please give me a sign that it is you, when I greet my grandchildren of the future, or babies born to friends. I love you , Mom, with my whole might!

And now, here, one of your favorites:

in Just-
spring     when the world is mud-
luscious the little
lame balloonman

whistles       far       and wee

and eddieandbill come
running from marbles and
piracies and it's
spring 


when the world is puddle-wonderful 



the queer
old balloonman whistles
far       and       wee 


and bettyandisbel come dancing 



from hop-scotch and jump-rope and
it's
spring 

and
     the

             goat-footed 



balloonMan       whistles 

far 

and 

wee.

And so you begin your 4th year up and around wherever you are.